[Only when he hears it does he realise that his breath is shaky, that even his hand is trembling a little. With a frown, he tries to overcome that, breathing in deeply and releasing the air slowly from his mouth, entirely too aware that Xingchen was close enough to feel that.]

My resentment is my own, daozhang. This is just-- It's not mine. I can dispel it.

[But he doesn't try again, not against Xingchen's will.]

I'm choosing this. Does that not mean at least as much? Does it not mean more, since it's important to me?